I’m in a season of redefining, redirecting, and recalibrating. Maybe it’s the beginning of a new year, I don’t know.
I’ve been blessed with a group of friends that I would say that I live in community with. The definition of “friend”. It is an overused and diluted word, and even sometimes, a forgotten one. We are using it in a social media stream everyday. I’ve been on Facebook since it was a college only thing. It was terrible back then. Then one day it made sense, b/c friends began to use it… while deleting their MySpace accounts. A few weeks ago I began to go thru some of my “friends” on Facebook, only to find that I can’t possibly have THAT many friends. True. I accept almost anyone (anyone wearing clothing in their profile pic). I don’t use it as my primary medium of connection to everyday friends. I do enjoy casually keeping up with people from school, sports, road life, etc.
Let’s actually look at the word friend in the context of this post.
friend
noun
1.a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?
4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.
We’re going to go w/ #1, though #3 is interesting.
I have always had MANY people that I would say “yeah, I’m friends with them”… but I’m not if I were really honest. Just because we know someone doesn’t mean that we’re friends by the definition of the word. And, that’s okay.
Knowing who we are, what drains us, what fills us, and what inspires us will alter who we are and how we live. We need to invest our time, emotions, and life in others that bring us life. That will also give us the strength to be the encouragers we need to be with others that may be a little more “trying” or draining.
Take this in. “Outgrowing” relationships isn’t a bad thing, nor does it negate what once was. Sometimes we can honor each other by moving on.
Chad Jarnagin
mandythompson
January 9, 2012 at 9:38 am
Great words, Chad. Just the other day, I was talking to a friend (yes, #1 def) about how I do friendships. I the type that only has a handful of close friends, and I can always easily tell you who they are. Then I have circles of other relationships that grow less familiar as the rings ripple out from me. And I think that’s ok. I sorta see the same thing in Jesus’ life. And I don’t feel so guilty about who’s in the inner circle & who’s not.
Chad Jarnagin
January 9, 2012 at 11:05 am
Thanks for this Mandy. Good things to process, eh? It is really good to come to grips w/ who we are and how we are wired.
Rob Morris
January 9, 2012 at 11:14 am
Is this your way of saying you want to break up?
Ha! I couldn’t resist.
Good word Chad.
Chad Jarnagin
January 9, 2012 at 12:56 pm
ha! well played Mr Morris. on the contrary… :)
I’ll speak w/ you soon.
Nathalie
January 9, 2012 at 11:25 am
Friendships become even more interesting in adulthood, and then as we have our own families. They take much more intentionality. We become much more selective about who we allow in and who we invest in. Good words today for a culture of people who tally their value on the amount of “friends” they accumulate. I hear you saying…its about quality and sincerity and growth…. I like it.
Chad Jarnagin
January 9, 2012 at 12:55 pm
Right on Nathalie. You are wise and astute.
Thank you.
Whit
January 9, 2012 at 2:03 pm
A good word, Chad. Some friends exist for a season, and often play important roles in those seasons, while others are in it for the long haul. Your post reminds me to be grateful for both.
Joy
January 10, 2012 at 5:47 pm
Love this!
Best quote ever! ““Outgrowing” relationships isn’t a bad thing, nor does it negate what once was. Sometimes we can honor each other by moving on.”